Finding the right person is often about more than chemistry. It's about timing, intention, self-discovery, and creating space for meaningful connections.
As technology continues to reshape the ways we meet, date, and fall in love, matchmaking has emerged as both an art and a strategy for navigating modern relationships. In this conversation, Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, shares insights into today’s dating culture, the challenges singles face, and why the strongest relationships are built on more than a simple match.
Opening the Door
Linger Magazine: In a world of endless swiping and instant connections, why do you think so many people still struggle to find meaningful relationships?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Because intention isn’t always mutual. You may be serious about finding a relationship, but the person you match with may be looking for something completely different. Endless options make it harder to identify who is truly ready for the same thing you are.
Linger Magazine: What misconception do most people have about modern matchmaking?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: That matchmaking is outdated or only for people who can’t find a date. Modern matchmaking is about efficiency. It can be eight times more successful than dating apps and get you to the right people much faster.
Linger Magazine: How has the role of a matchmaker evolved over the last decade?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Matchmakers are much more involved today. We’re part coach, therapist, recruiter, connector, and supportive friend. Matchmaking has also expanded dramatically. We now work with singles across all ages, genders, ethnicities, and life stages.
Linger Magazine: Why are more singles turning to matchmakers now rather than relying solely on dating apps?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Because matchmaking works, and singles are realizing it can actually make dating fun again. It’s more intentional, time-efficient, and removes much of the work involved in finding someone who genuinely aligns with what you’re looking for.
Linger Magazine: Many people focus on finding the right partner. How often does your work involve helping people become the right partner?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Everything we do is about making sure you’re ready for love. That’s why coaching is such a big part of matchmaking. There’s nothing worse than finding the right person and missing the opportunity because you weren’t ready for the relationship.
Linger Magazine: What are the most common patterns or obstacles you see preventing people from forming lasting relationships?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Overanalyzing and constantly looking for the next best thing. Dating isn’t Build-A-Bear. You can’t design the perfect person. It’s often our differences and complexities that make relationships interesting and keep the spark alive.
Linger Magazine: How important is self-awareness in the dating process?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Self-awareness is key. Great relationships require self-reflection, and sometimes people need help understanding their own patterns, what they truly need, and how they show up in relationships.
Linger Magazine: What qualities do successful daters tend to have in common, regardless of age or background?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Successful daters are open-minded, self-aware, intentional, and willing to be a little vulnerable. They know what matters to them, but they don’t let a rigid checklist get in the way of a great connection.
Linger Magazine: What advice do you give clients who feel discouraged after repeated disappointments in dating?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Take it slow and be thoughtful. Lean into coaching, and be honest with yourself and your matchmaker about your fears and frustrations so you can identify patterns, overcome challenges, and move forward together. The right person is out there. I have complete confidence in that.
The Rooms We Carry With Us
Linger Magazine: Everyone brings their past experiences into new relationships. How do you help clients navigate emotional baggage, heartbreak, or trust issues?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Your past is part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your future. We help clients understand those experiences, learn from them, and move forward with the confidence to be vulnerable and open to love again.
Linger Magazine: Are there common lessons people learn about themselves during the matchmaking process?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: The biggest lesson is that an open heart can change everything. Clients who step outside their comfort zone, embrace coaching, and stay open to unexpected possibilities often find love faster.
Linger Magazine: What role does confidence play in attracting and maintaining healthy relationships?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Confidence is huge. Real confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s being comfortable with who you are, showing up authentically, and making the other person feel secure and valued.
Linger Magazine: How can singles better identify what they truly need in a partner versus what they think they want?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: It starts with understanding your core values, life goals, ambition, love language, and what truly makes you tick. A matchmaker helps separate the checklist of what you think you want from the deeper compatibility that actually creates chemistry and lasting love.
Linger Magazine: AI is changing nearly every aspect of modern life. How is it changing the way people meet and connect?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: For us, AI makes matchmaking more human, not less. It handles administrative work so matchmakers can spend more time with clients while helping us search and screen for deeper emotional, lifestyle, and physical preferences more efficiently.
Linger Magazine: What opportunities do you see AI creating for dating, and where does human intuition still matter most?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: AI can make dating faster and smarter by identifying patterns at scale, but human intuition helps us understand the why. We collect feedback after dates to understand why a match worked, or didn’t, and use those insights to continually improve our understanding of compatibility.
Linger Magazine: Do you believe technology is bringing people closer together or making authentic connection more difficult?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Technology can bring people closer when the goal is actually love. The challenge is ensuring that technology serves connection rather than distraction.
Linger Magazine: Looking ahead five years, what do you think the dating landscape will look like?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Dating will become more personalized, more human, and move people offline faster. AI and voice technology will help create experiences that feel more like matchmaking and less like endless scrolling.
Dating Through Different Seasons of Life
Linger Magazine: What unique challenges do singles over 50 face when re-entering the dating world?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Dating over 50 often means re-entering the dating world after a major life chapter. The biggest challenge is letting go of old expectations, embracing how dating has changed, and staying open to finding love in a new way.
Linger Magazine: How does matchmaking differ for someone dating after divorce?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Dating after divorce often requires more coaching and support. There’s healing involved, and we help clients navigate that transition while feeling confident enough to open themselves up to love again.
Linger Magazine: Have you noticed generational differences in how people approach love, commitment, and partnership?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Absolutely. But regardless of age, people want the same thing: quality, intentional connections and a more efficient way to find love.
Linger Magazine: What would surprise readers most about dating later in life?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: How exciting it can be. These are often experienced, confident people who know themselves well, have more freedom, and are willing to approach dating with a fresh perspective.
Linger Magazine: What distinguishes a healthy, lasting relationship from a successful first date?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: A successful first date is about chemistry and excitement, but a healthy, lasting relationship requires shared values, trust, communication, emotional safety, and aligned life goals. The spark may bring two people together, but it’s how they navigate life together that determines whether it lasts.
Linger Magazine: What signs indicate that a relationship has the foundation to grow into a long-term partnership?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: The strongest signs are trust, open communication, shared values, emotional safety, and aligned goals for the future. Chemistry creates the spark, but consistency, compatibility, and how you show up for each other build a lasting partnership.
Linger Magazine: If you could give one piece of advice to singles who feel they have “tried everything,” what would it be?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: If you feel like you’ve tried everything, try something truly different. Stay open to new approaches, new perspectives, and new opportunities to meet people who share your intentions.
Linger Magazine: Ultimately, what does meaningful connection look like in today’s world?
Adam Cohen-Aslatei: Meaningful connection today is deep and layered. It feels like being with a childhood best friend. There’s chemistry, but also trust, comfort, laughter, vulnerability, and the feeling that someone truly knows you. The best relationships keep revealing new layers while still feeling like home.
As dating continues to evolve alongside technology and shifting social norms, Adam Cohen-Aslatei believes the fundamentals remain unchanged. Beyond algorithms and introductions, meaningful relationships are built through self-awareness, vulnerability, shared values, and a willingness to remain open to possibility. In the end, connection is less about finding the perfect match and more about creating a foundation strong enough to grow from.
